Is what my cousin said to me last night. I was not initially angry, but I am angry, and annoyed, and frustrated.
Such statements come from willful ignorance because despite me being very clear about my goals and frugality this is still the mindset my entire family is in. They think I am either a miserly scrooge or that I must make lots of money to afford everything I do despite me telling them my actual income in numbers before and after tax. Spelling it out like ABC…It doesn’t seem to make a difference. It frustrates me because it makes me feel like my hard work is invalid, not good enough. I need to get out of that mindset and not be annoyed what others think about me or what I do.
I’ve told my cousin before that I save all the money I earn from cleaning cottages in the summer and use it for travel. I’ve told her before what I make and how hard it was to run my house and try to get ahead. So hearing something like that, after everything I do, sucks. It hurts when someone says that you obtained something not by hard work but luck.
I’ve explained to people how I travel hack and credit card hack to travel for free or cheap. And still; after explaining how to get five free hotel nights with Marriott, she said, yeah but I’ve never stayed at a hotel, why would I stay at a hotel? Only to continue in the same paragraph about wanting to travel to Europe and other places.
I… I am so confused! What is it called when you tell someone the earth is round and they say no, no it is flat! That’s what this feels like.
Similarly with my friend, whom I have laid out the math to that my house was NOT a good investment, she summarized to me yesterday that I wasn’t happy in my house and that’s why I sold it but it was still a good investment. No! Literally, NO! That’s not what I said! I said it wasn’t! I feel like when it comes to money people have blinders on and earplugs in. I tell them I saved and worked extra, they tell me I must make lots of money with my day job to afford to travel. I tell them how to get free aeroplan points, they tell me they don’t have time. I tell them I budget and try to be frugal, they call me a scrooge.
I’m so happy there is a big financial community online because my immediate and extended family don’t get it. It’s hard to save and contribute to an rsp, it’s even harder when people continue to make assumptions about you and say things that are really quite hurtful. It’s very hard when I do kind-of-crazy-things like pick 100 pounds of strawberries in July to freeze them so that all winter long I can eat like a king, and they look at me like I’m nuts… or sigh and tell me they don’t have time.
No time to waste on getting healthy, no time to waste on saving, no time to waste on the future.