Is what my cousin said to me last night. I was not initially angry, but I am angry, and annoyed, and frustrated.

Such statements come from willful ignorance because despite me being very clear about my goals and frugality this is still the mindset my entire family is in. They think I am either a miserly scrooge or that I must make lots of money to afford everything I do despite me telling them my actual income in numbers before and after tax. Spelling it out like ABC…It doesn’t seem to make a difference. It frustrates me because it makes me feel like my hard work is invalid, not good enough. I need to get out of that mindset and not be annoyed what others think about me or what I do.

I’ve told my cousin before that I save all the money I earn from cleaning cottages in the summer and use it for travel. I’ve told her before what I make and how hard it was to run my house and try to get ahead. So hearing something like that, after everything I do, sucks. It hurts when someone says that you obtained something not by hard work but luck.

I’ve explained to people how I travel hack and credit card hack to travel for free or cheap. And still; after explaining how to get five free hotel nights with Marriott, she said, yeah but I’ve never stayed at a hotel, why would I stay at a hotel? Only to continue in the same paragraph about wanting to travel to Europe and other places.

I… I am so confused! What is it called when you tell someone the earth is round and they say no, no it is flat! That’s what this feels like.

Similarly with my friend, whom I have laid out the math to that my house was NOT a good investment, she summarized to me yesterday that I wasn’t happy in my house and that’s why I sold it but it was still a good investment. No! Literally, NO! That’s not what I said! I said it wasn’t! I feel like when it comes to money people have blinders on and earplugs in. I tell them I saved and worked extra, they tell me I must make lots of money with my day job to afford to travel. I tell them how to get free aeroplan points, they tell me they don’t have time. I tell them I budget and try to be frugal, they call me a scrooge.

I’m so happy there is a big financial community online because my immediate and extended family don’t get it. It’s hard to save and contribute to an rsp, it’s even harder when people continue to make assumptions about you and say things that are really quite hurtful. It’s very hard when I do kind-of-crazy-things like pick 100 pounds of strawberries in July to freeze them so that all winter long I can eat like a king, and they look at me like I’m nuts… or sigh and tell me they don’t have time.

No time to waste on getting healthy, no time to waste on saving, no time to waste on the future.


I have been coveting a Banana Republic bag for quite some time. This one;


I even made it a part of my goals for 2015 in my 30 goals for 2015 post, look:
2Every so often I get a new purse because an old one has worn out, or the functions that I need it for change. The current purse I use for a bit dressier occasions when I still need to carry a few things around is starting to show signs of wear, so I’ve been looking to replace it.

There are a few purses I have considered, between MK, Kate Spade and BR. In hindsight this was complete idiocy…. I have a line of credit/mortgage to pay off, I have retirement to save for, I need a newer car in a couple of years. A new pricy as hell purse? Even after a discount any of them run me over $200. Who am I kidding?

In 2012 I used up 75% of the emergency fund I had saved at that time to cover living expenses as my income plummeted in early 2013, it started increasing again when I picked up seasonal employment last year. Ive only been contributing a measly $25 a month October 2013 and onward.

I bought a nice Ck bag in August of 2013 and while I haven’t regretted buying it at all, until now, the mid $200’s price tag set me back about a months worth of groceries and in reality…. even though I saved for it; could I really afford it? No. The purse cost me about 1% of my income that year. 


Was it worth it? No. I like fashion, I do enjoy looking nice, dressing nice. Banana Republic, Ck, Kate Spade, Ralph Lauren… I am a sucker for the preppy new England look. I don’t quite dress like it, but I do own a khaki coloured trench coat, and I wear my jeans with a leather belt, and flats, and yes I like fancy purses and preppy dressshirts and a-line skirts. I find it appealing. But am I really wearing these items for me, or am I also wearing these items to present an image to the world? Most likely the latter.

While I liked that purse, it’s highly unlikely anyone other than my friends and family really noticed me using it. I didn’t end up liking the quality and the handle has had to be sewn on once already. Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything wrong with finetuning your image for yourself and the world. After all, it’s important for your work and social life, but was this expense warranted for me personally? Did I need more stuff in my closet while I am looking to have less stuff? Was it really worth it? Not at all. I don’t want to be poor, this is not the way to not be poor.

My 2015 income should end up being about $30,000 after tax (which reminds me that I’m currently four days late filing my tax return, crap). I projected my income at $27,500 in January so I’ve been able to increase that which is awesome! 🙂 My income is earned in a variety of ways, I’ve had more than one job on the go since I graduated college;

– My normal part-time cleaning gig which consists of two different contracts (I am the main contractor)
– My seasonal luxury cottage scrubbing (self-employed)
– Commission based property rentals
– becoming an accidental landlord on my own house
– occasional random side jobs

The $2,500 increase is not much but it’s something. $30,000 is not terribly low. I can and do, do a lot with my $30,000. 

But I have $4,725.64 saved for retirement right now. Under five thousand dollars. That is just… I mean that will get me what, a quarter of a year of living in the future? Maybe after compounding the interest I’ll get a year worth of living out of it in a good 30 years orso. Maybe more, maybe less, I have no idea because it’s not worth it to do the math because the point is: that is ridiculous. 

I have house debt to pay off asap and if I ever want to retire, a retirement to save for. I don’t want to be poor.

I had no business buying a $240 purse in 2013, and I still don’t in 2015.

What ridiculous purchases have you made that were really kind of stupid??