Category: Life (page 1 of 6)

On loyalty and friendships

Let me begin this post by asking a question; how loyal are you?

Today I received a comment from a family member that I am too loyal to people and that I hold on too long, so I got thinking about the subject of loyalty.

I’m sure you can identify when I tell you that I’ve had my fair share of broken friendships and broken relationships. I’m freshly reminded of this as I still wait (in vain) for a response to an email C. sent to a friend of mine back innnnnn July or something? A girl who he was thought to be my best friend, about an issue in my life that,  in short, was pretty crappy. She never bothered to respond.

She moved away earlier in the year and I’ve called, I’ve texted and sent a few messages asking how she and her family were doing and the only response so far has been the odd comment about the latest television show. I think I officially got dumped.

Nonetheless I remain loyal. I’m not down with being a doormat and don’t condone toxic relationships but in cases like this I forgive and forgive and forgive and eventually forget. C. told me about his one-strike policy in situations such as these, he cuts the ties, unforgiving, unrelenting. One strike, done.

I won’t judge you, one way or the other. People are fickle emotional beings and we all have our reasons and limits for acting the way we do. My loyalty has caused me hurt a few times, has it set me up for more or less?

I like to think less, some friendships can be saved and others can’t but in the end I gain comfort from knowing that I’ve done all that I could have done and remained loyal until what truly is, the end.

Budget mishaps…

With summer quickly rolling in I’m noticing a SCARY trend in my budget. I’m off… like WAY off… still within my total budget but my categories are way out of whack and I don’t think that’s going to change until November rolls around… my student loan repayment has also suffered and I won’t make my <$5,000 goal for July 1. It’s making me feel a little on edge but the overpowering feeling is relief and happiness. Which is strange, I mean… I’m consistently OFF budget and I’m cool with that? I think I may have been too strict on myself this past winter and while I made some really nice progress financially it really added to me hitting the proverbial wall and… here we are. I need to find a balance.

I started writing this post because I realized that I missed a crucial and big expense in this months budget: I didn’t include that I’m leaving for Isles de la Madeleine on June 24th for a 5/6 day camping trip, I’ve been wanting to go there for a very long time so I’m really looking forward to it. (Speaking of which, have you been? I’d love to hear any tips & suggestions on what to do!) I haven’t had more than 3 days off in a row in more than a year and a half… that’s a long time and I’m really ready for a vacay. I’ve had slow weeks of work and haven’t worked full-time consistently throughout but it will be nice to just really be OFF and away for a little while.  I’m kind of wondering if I should actually make a new category in my budget for vacation expenses, what do you think?

Sure looks pretty...!

Aside from the camping trip at the end of June, I’m also going for a one day shopping trip with friends (it’ll be them shopping and me accompanying) the day after I come back and I’ve still got the possible trip to Toronto to see John Butler Trio mid-July. I’ve also just started researching prices for tickets to the Netherlands probably late August/early September (mentioned here) which is very exciting but it’s going to bust my budget… did I mention I have a huuuuuge renovation coming up before winter as well?

Yeah…. I just had a visit with the development officer in my community and in order to renovate and extend my porch about 3 feet (because it’s so tiny, the extra space is needed) I’m going to have to apply for a gross variance which will need to be approved by council & my neighbours individually. *sigh*Nothing’s ever easy… so everything with my mortgage refinancing is on hold until I get a cost estimate from my contractor, apply and hopefully get approved for a permit… and then we go from there.

I’m guessing it’ll take another month before I can head back to the bank to talk about the refinancing again. We’ve already established that I have the credit etc. to get it all done, just need to work out the kinks like the new terms of my mortgage, and for that I need to have a plan in place for the renovation + a building permit because without the permit the whole project changes. I hope to talk to the contractor again tomorrow and work out some details, I’m hoping to push the reno off until September so the framing & exterior can be finished right before winter and I can slowly work on the interior myself over the winter. It would save me some big bucks to do that. I’m really slow at stuff like drywalling but I can do it so hiring the contractor to only do the frame and exterior finishing should be good for the bottom line so I don’t bust my budget into oblivion… lol.

Ahhh! I’m trying not to get too overwhelmed and have a bit of fun too, I think I’ll be okay though as long as I stay within the rough parameters of my budget I’ll get where I want to be. How’s your budget fairing in this fair weather? 😉

Following your heart’s desire.

Occasionally I am prone to rants, actually… frequently but I usually restrain myself. Hehe. Serendipity wrote about going to NY in which she linked to this post on Thousandaire, which led me to write todays article .

I’ve been going through a period of… self discovery? these last few months. I haven’t been sure how to write about it without sounding all blah-I’m-whining… There’s been emotional turmoil, wanderlust and I’ve had this melancholic mood. (Another reason things have been quiet around here, until I felt I could put stuff into words).

I’ve been dreaming a lot of crazy dreams. Actually, at a friends suggestion I started writing them down a little while ago and it’s strange to read them after some time has passed. Generally my dreams come from the things I’m dealing with but some of them don’t make any sense at all. Obviously that stuff is coming out of my subconscious… I just can’t see the whole picture yet. Perhaps I could make a book out of them some day! You would seriously laugh at some of the stuff, it’s so absurd. Back to the topic at hand.

I met someone three months ago who’s really making me think about what I want, what I want to be doing… what I’ve done. I’ve put many of my dreams on hold to buy my little house and other things these past 2.5 years and I feel like I’ve been in this haze that I’m just coming out of, and I’m just starting to see things clearly. Debt-wise, Life-wise. You need to find a balance between wants and needs, I don’t think I struck the right one but it’s never too late to make a change.

My heart’s desire is to travel, to be adventurous and do things and just to be free. I have a passion for the environment, sustainable living, for food and for discovering other cultures and the only thing holding me back has been ME. (Well, that and the monetary predicament I created for myself) I now have the flexibility now to take off for a week or two at a time, as long as the company keeps running smoothly.

I’ve been waiting for people; friends and boyfriends to do with me the things I want to do, because I never wanted to do things alone but I’ve realized… why am I waiting on other people to do the things I want? So from this point onward, I’m going to change that. I’m going to make my dreams come true. It’s funny that I just needed a smack in the face to make me realize, hey! Life’s really freaking awesome and what are you waiting for? 

So last week I went zip-lining and had a blast and today I’m considering  tickets for a band who are playing in Toronto this summer. I’ve planned a little camping trip to Isle de la Madeleine at the end of June with one of my siblings and I’m heading to Moncton or Halifax with some friends for a little shopping trip early July as well. I want to go to back to Europe this year and I want to make my dream of travelling more a reality. Most of all I’ve wanted someone to do these things with but I’m not going to wait for that because I’ll never get to where I want to go waiting on other people. Fuck it, I’m going to follow my dreams.

The world is your oyster, won’t you take this journey with me?

And with that I end with this wicked-awesome-Newton Faulkner-cover of Massive Attack’s Teardrop:

For more Newton Faulkner-bingeing check out I need something.

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