Occasionally I am prone to rants, actually… frequently but I usually restrain myself. Hehe. Serendipity wrote about going to NY in which she linked to this post on Thousandaire, which led me to write todays article .
I’ve been going through a period of… self discovery? these last few months. I haven’t been sure how to write about it without sounding all blah-I’m-whining… There’s been emotional turmoil, wanderlust and I’ve had this melancholic mood. (Another reason things have been quiet around here, until I felt I could put stuff into words).
I’ve been dreaming a lot of crazy dreams. Actually, at a friends suggestion I started writing them down a little while ago and it’s strange to read them after some time has passed. Generally my dreams come from the things I’m dealing with but some of them don’t make any sense at all. Obviously that stuff is coming out of my subconscious… I just can’t see the whole picture yet. Perhaps I could make a book out of them some day! You would seriously laugh at some of the stuff, it’s so absurd. Back to the topic at hand.
I met someone three months ago who’s really making me think about what I want, what I want to be doing… what I’ve done. I’ve put many of my dreams on hold to buy my little house and other things these past 2.5 years and I feel like I’ve been in this haze that I’m just coming out of, and I’m just starting to see things clearly. Debt-wise, Life-wise. You need to find a balance between wants and needs, I don’t think I struck the right one but it’s never too late to make a change.
My heart’s desire is to travel, to be adventurous and do things and just to be free. I have a passion for the environment, sustainable living, for food and for discovering other cultures and the only thing holding me back has been ME. (Well, that and the monetary predicament I created for myself) I now have the flexibility now to take off for a week or two at a time, as long as the company keeps running smoothly.
I’ve been waiting for people; friends and boyfriends to do with me the things I want to do, because I never wanted to do things alone but I’ve realized… why am I waiting on other people to do the things I want? So from this point onward, I’m going to change that. I’m going to make my dreams come true. It’s funny that I just needed a smack in the face to make me realize, hey! Life’s really freaking awesome and what are you waiting for?
So last week I went zip-lining and had a blast and today I’m considering tickets for a band who are playing in Toronto this summer. I’ve planned a little camping trip to Isle de la Madeleine at the end of June with one of my siblings and I’m heading to Moncton or Halifax with some friends for a little shopping trip early July as well. I want to go to back to Europe this year and I want to make my dream of travelling more a reality. Most of all I’ve wanted someone to do these things with but I’m not going to wait for that because I’ll never get to where I want to go waiting on other people. Fuck it, I’m going to follow my dreams.
The world is your oyster, won’t you take this journey with me?
And with that I end with this wicked-awesome-Newton Faulkner-cover of Massive Attack’s Teardrop:
For more Newton Faulkner-bingeing check out I need something.