I’ve been doing some soul searching lately and I’ve come to some conclusions that make my heart feel a little less heavy, so this post is going to be a little off the finance topic but it’s still relevant. (and really it’s my blog so THERE! I jest I jest!) Anyway, to the point: I’ve always been a goal-person. I make lists, scratch off what I’ve done and make a new list. I always have some sort of list on the go and some sort of goal in mind. I’m just your average generally high strung Type A type of girl. My mind never rests.
Since I can remember I’ve had a sort of ‘plan’ for my life, there have always been certain things I wanted to achieve in a certain order. A few years ago in my first year of college a teacher asked everyone to write down 5 things we wanted to achieve in 5 years. I found that paper again last year and was rather surprised to see that I’d attained 4 out of those 5 goals already. I can’t find the list at the moment but it went something like this;
1. To finish my degree/perhaps a masters – working on it
2. Own a house – check
3. Have my own business – check
4. Travel – I don’t think I will ever stop travelling…
5. Get married – nope
Seeing that list was a bit of an eye opener for me. You see, once I check something off the list I move on to the next thing with gazelle intensity (Like Dave Ramsey likes to say) having achieved some of the BIG exciting things like buying a house and having my own business I automatically focused on the next BIG thing… for me that’s a husband and babies. Hmmm.
Since that is not exactly happening yet for several reasons (A willing man for one) I’ve kind of been feeling lost in the six months or so, sure I’ve got all my financial goals to focus on but there’s this life plan and now that I’ve done a few of the ‘big’ things I wanted to achieve… I just feel kind of stuck because I don’t know how to proceed. Emotionally I’m hung up on my silly list thing and wanting this pretty badly all of a sudden- it feels like my ovaries are ready to jump out of my body-badly, but rationally I’ve come to the conclusion that my focus on getting the next check on my list is a little misplaced.
I don’t have to have a baby or a husband next on the list, I’m only 25… Actually, I don’t really even want a baby right now. What would happen to my planned trip next June? 6 months pregnant and zipping around being a tourist? I know that I’m probably stating the obvious here, but sometimes it’s hard to see the forest through the trees. So, for now I’ve moved that family stuff a bit further down the list and am going to focus on other things that are also important!
It feels good to put things in perspective like this, do you ever have revelations like this? When’s the last time your blinders got knocked off and you were forced to check the big picture?